Would you Like a Review?

Reviews are a funny thing. I understand their usefulness, and I think they help to keep us all safe. However, the “kiss and tell” aspect leave a lot of us ladies feeling uncomfortable, at best. Even when it’s positive and flattering, It doesn’t feel great to read about your intimate encounters on the internet.

“Glowing” reviews still leave me a bit vexed.

Every review written is inherently subjective, and it can create an inappropriate expectation. When someone writes a review, it may be interpreted in an entirely different way by the reader than was intended. Contrary to what you may think, even something as seemingly straightforward as the color “red” means different things to different people. Just imagine how much variation there is in the interpretations of intimate human interactions! People can be in the same room, doing the same thing, and have wildly different experiences.

What’s more, reviews often fail to account for the more subtle nuances of the experience. Positive reviews rarely mention that the writer was completely transparent about himself during the screening process, or was willing to go above and beyond to make the woman feel comfortable prior to meeting- something that can make a HUGE difference in the quality of time spent together. Or the fact that the gentleman took a shower without being prompted, actually used soap to wash his ass crack, dried off well, and came out of the bathroom fresh and clean. On the flip side, negative reviews rarely mention that the man was bitter throughout the screening process. They NEVER mention that he came in on a hot summer day and “showered” by letting the water hit him but not using any soap and failing to reach his ass, or worse, refused to shower all together.

Then there are the rough or aggressive men. Men that feel as if they can take liberties with a woman’s body because they are paying. I have actually had a man tell me that he should get to touch me wherever and however he wants because he is paying. Um…no. This same man went on to write me a positive review, but I think it is clear to see how that could have gone very differently.

If you think you are going to call all the shots because you are paying, please do not contact me- we are not a good match.

So if you see a review that says a woman doesn’t like kissing, or nipple play, or any specific activity, you should probably check with her to see if that is true. Could just be the case of a rough, aggressive, or smelly man. Or could have just been that day she wasn’t feeling it and wasn’t going to pretend. We like different things, with different people, at different times. Just like everybody else.

Reviews make women vulnerable. For many, this work is our livelihood. It is not uncommon to be threatened with a “bad review” by someone who is rude, aggressive, or refusing to be screened. The review board that is relied upon most in my area is not accommodating to women who ask for these false reviews to be removed, and women are forced to deal with the ramifications of such vindictiveness.

More and more women are adopting a “no review” policy. Try not to be put off by this, as many of these women have great websites, and a strong online presence via social media so that you can be assured they are who they say they are. What it really means is that they want to be able to have an experience with you that is uninhibited by preconceived notions, and they refuse to be forced into a vulnerable position.  These are intelligent women who do not want to read about their private encounters on a public forum. If one of them catches your eye, you should not let a lack of reviews deter you.

Like many women, I put a lot of work into the way I present myself online. I write all my own content, and it is authentic. I take new pictures every 6-9 months, and I post selfies regularly. All of this is easily accessible online. These things show a woman takes what she does seriously, whatever that may be, and should be given much more weight than the subjective experience of another man.

I am conflicted about reviews. I believe the gentleman I have the best experiences with often do not write reviews, but they do read them. And I understand why, but with a strong online presence and  50+ reviews already, are more really necessary?

In any event, try asking before you write a review. You may be surprised to find that many women do not them. Especially on a board or forum they are not post ads on.

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