Would you Like a Review?

Reviews are a funny thing. I understand their usefulness, and I think they help to keep us all safe. However, the “kiss and tell” aspect leave a lot of us ladies feeling uncomfortable, at best. Even when it’s positive and flattering, It doesn’t feel great to read about your intimate encounters on the internet.

“Glowing” reviews still leave me a bit vexed.

Every review written is inherently subjective, and it can create an inappropriate expectation. When someone writes a review, it may be interpreted in an entirely different way by the reader than was intended. Contrary to what you may think, even something as seemingly straightforward as the color “red” means different things to different people. Just imagine how much variation there is in the interpretations of intimate human interactions! People can be in the same room, doing the same thing, and have wildly different experiences.

What’s more, reviews often fail to account for the more subtle nuances of the experience. Positive reviews rarely mention that the writer was completely transparent about himself during the screening process, or was willing to go above and beyond to make the woman feel comfortable prior to meeting- something that can make a HUGE difference in the quality of time spent together. Or the fact that the gentleman took a shower without being prompted, actually used soap to wash his ass crack, dried off well, and came out of the bathroom fresh and clean. On the flip side, negative reviews rarely mention that the man was bitter throughout the screening process. They NEVER mention that he came in on a hot summer day and “showered” by letting the water hit him but not using any soap and failing to reach his ass, or worse, refused to shower all together.

Then there are the rough or aggressive men. Men that feel as if they can take liberties with a woman’s body because they are paying. I have actually had a man tell me that he should get to touch me wherever and however he wants because he is paying. Um…no. This same man went on to write me a positive review, but I think it is clear to see how that could have gone very differently.

If you think you are going to call all the shots because you are paying, please do not contact me- we are not a good match.

So if you see a review that says a woman doesn’t like kissing, or nipple play, or any specific activity, you should probably check with her to see if that is true. Could just be the case of a rough, aggressive, or smelly man. Or could have just been that day she wasn’t feeling it and wasn’t going to pretend. We like different things, with different people, at different times. Just like everybody else.

Reviews make women vulnerable. For many, this work is our livelihood. It is not uncommon to be threatened with a “bad review” by someone who is rude, aggressive, or refusing to be screened. The review board that is relied upon most in my area is not accommodating to women who ask for these false reviews to be removed, and women are forced to deal with the ramifications of such vindictiveness.

More and more women are adopting a “no review” policy. Try not to be put off by this, as many of these women have great websites, and a strong online presence via social media so that you can be assured they are who they say they are. What it really means is that they want to be able to have an experience with you that is uninhibited by preconceived notions, and they refuse to be forced into a vulnerable position.  These are intelligent women who do not want to read about their private encounters on a public forum. If one of them catches your eye, you should not let a lack of reviews deter you.

Like many women, I put a lot of work into the way I present myself online. I write all my own content, and it is authentic. I take new pictures every 6-9 months, and I post selfies regularly. All of this is easily accessible online. These things show a woman takes what she does seriously, whatever that may be, and should be given much more weight than the subjective experience of another man.

I am conflicted about reviews. I believe the gentleman I have the best experiences with often do not write reviews, but they do read them. And I understand why, but with a strong online presence and  50+ reviews already, are more really necessary?

In any event, try asking before you write a review. You may be surprised to find that many women do not them. Especially on a board or forum they are not post ads on.

I am never available NOW.

 

I understand that life can be unpredictable, and that’s why I never get upset if you have to cancel, even if it is the day of our scheduled meeting. Actually, I always require a same-day confirmation, just in case something comes up, you happen to forget we have an appointment, or you just get cold feet (it happens!). This way, it is easy for me to make other plans for my day without getting upset or being inconvenience that your life got in the way of our meeting.

However, expecting me to make myself available with just a couple hours notice? No way. Maybe you’re day opened up unexpectedly, but I simply don’t have the luxury of sitting around waiting for a phone call or booking form.  If I had to wait around for spur of the moment bookings, my life wouldn’t be very happy or productive, and I would have completely moved on from this business by now.

I wear many hats- daughter, sister, student, partner, lover, friend, professional…you get the point. My life is full, and this world is just a tiny piece of it. When you see I am traveling, I am not “touring”. My personal life and outside adventures take me to different cities, and I like to meet some friends while there 😏.

Occasionally, I can make myself available for a same day meeting if you let me know in the morning (morning means before noon. That’s actually what morning means). But the truth is, the little bit of free time I have for these extracurricular activities is so limited that it goes quickly. It is not unusual for my schedule to be full days, and occasionally weeks in advance.

If your schedule is always hectic/last minute, then take the time to get prescreened so that screening is already out of the way when you are able to meet. It is nearly impossible to get screened AND booked last minute.

 
Take the time to plan ahead, and I promise I’ll do my best to make our time together unforgettable.

Bondassage is not about pain!

And neither is kink or fetishism.

For that matter, only a small part of BDSM as a whole is about pain, and I’m not really sure where this widespread perception that kink is all about pain came from. Is that how mainstream media portrays it? I’m way too deeply involved in the kink world to know if this is the case, but if is- don’t believe everything you see on TV!

Kink and BDSM have become blanket terms for acts of sexual expression that fall outside the perceived sexual norm. People engage in kinky activities for a variety of reasons, but it’s the desire for connection, intimacy, and pleasure which mostly drives them, not pain.

So what is Bondassage about then?

No doubt, you’ll get a different answer depending on who you ask, and no two people approach Bondassage the same way. For me, Bondassage is about embodiment, and the exploration of physical sensations. Some techniques, such as bondage and sensory deprivation are borrowed from BDSM as tools to enhance pleasure and presence. As a Bondassage practitioner, my desire is for you to completely let go, and allow yourself to be open to new experiences, both physically and mentally, as being bound and surrendering control can have an enormous mental component.

If you have a huge hang up around being bound or blindfolded, then bondassage is not for you.

If you’re truly open to new experiences and want to relax while someone else takes control of your pleasure, bondassage can be a wonderful experience.

If you are still feeling like you are not getting a straight answer as to what bondassage is, that is because each session is different, and truly crafted for the individual. I goal is to read your body, and let your responses dictate where we go next- so don’t be a dead fish!

In a sense, bondassage is BDSM-lite, which makes it great for people who feel ready to explore kink, but do not know where to start- I love introducing newbies to the dark side!

 

For a peak into bondassage, take a look at my video, but remember- it is just a teaser of one possible scenario.

What is Edging…

I am frequently asked, “What is Edging?”

Edging is one of my absolute favorite sexual activities, and I am utterly delighted to have discovered how many people are curious about it! There are many ways to explore edging, and it is a great introduction into erotic power dynamics (if that sort of thing appeals to you). For me, edging is all about tracking, and controlling the arousal of someone else. Arousal is a potent physiological state, and I obtain a remarkable high when experiencing another persons slow climb into a state of unprecedented arousal. The increased heart rate, flushed skin, erratic breathing, and ecstatic moans feed my erotic appetite…I could revel in your arousal forever.

 

But What IS Edging?

Edging is a sexual technique sometimes referred to as “peaking”, “orgasm control”, or “surfing”. It involves prolonging a high arousal state, without reaching orgasm. This high arousal is reached by slow bringing one to the “edge” of orgasm, but backing off just prior to release. By skillfully “surfing” near orgasm using this technique, a high arousal is stretched out over an extended period of time. The result is a build up of powerful sexual sensations, which can induce a highly pleasurable, euphoric state. People often experience changes in perceived consciousness when in this state, reporting feeling of transcending space and time, as if they have fallen into an erotic trance. In addition to this euphoria, when orgasm is finally allowed, the physical experience is exponentially more intense and pleasurable, due largely to the intense physical demands of remaining in a state of high arousal, coupled with the accumulation of sexual tension.

There are a few commonly seen uses of edging, as orgasm control lends itself quite well to BDSM practices.

“Tie and tease” is the coupling of edging with bondage. This can be a physically, and psychologically intense experience, as sexual tensions, and frustrations are further exacerbated by the helpless of being in bondage.

“Tease and denial”, also referred to as “orgasm denial” is essentially edging without any release. Orgasm denial is a great way to establish, and exercise control over someone. The intense arousal, and psychological need that can be cultivated with orgasm denial often helps one to enjoy intense feelings of erotic submission, and surrender. Orgasm denial can be taken one step further, into chastity… but that’s a topic for another time.